⚠️ Part 3: Common Mistakes in Descriptive Writing — And How to Fix Them
🎯 Purpose of This Part
To help students identify frequent pitfalls in descriptive writing and learn simple, practical strategies to improve clarity, creativity, and exam performance.
🚨 Mistake 1: Too Much Telling, Not Enough Showing
Telling: She was scared.
Showing: Her hands trembled, and her breath came in sharp, shallow gasps.
🔧 Fix: Use body language, setting clues, and internal reactions to suggest emotions, rather than naming them directly.
Tip: Ask, What would the reader see if this were a film scene?
🚨 Mistake 2: Overloading with Adjectives
Example: The big, dark, gloomy, haunted, creaky, spooky house…
Too many adjectives dilute impact.
🔧 Fix: Choose precise, powerful nouns and active verbs instead. Use 1–2 well-chosen adjectives or imagery devices per sentence.
🔁 Instead of: A very beautiful sunrise
✅ Try: The sky flushed rose and gold, like spilled ink across the clouds.
🚨 Mistake 3: Lack of Focus (Describing Everything)
Problem: Students often describe everything — from the trees to the ants — without purpose.
🔧 Fix: Use the “Zoom Lens” Technique:
- Begin with a wide shot (setting or mood)
- Zoom in on key details (1–2 vivid images)
- Choose details that support a mood or theme
🎯 Focused imagery is more memorable than scattered detail.
🚨 Mistake 4: Mixing Descriptive with Narrative Unintentionally
Example:
I walked into the room. The sunlight streamed in. I took a seat. Then I saw my friend. We talked.
This becomes flat and linear, lacking immersive effect.
🔧 Fix: If it’s a descriptive task, cut action to a minimum. Make it atmospheric, not event-driven.
✅ Sunlight spilled across the cracked tile floor, dust motes dancing in its golden glow. Silence pressed against the walls — thick, watchful.
🚨 Mistake 5: Clichés and Overused Phrases
Examples: Pitch black, as fast as lightning, as cold as ice, heart skipped a beat.
🔧 Fix: Use original comparisons. Think creatively about how your character/surrounding feels or what it reminds you of.
✅ Instead of cold as ice: Cold clung to her like wet cloth — heavy, inescapable.
🚨 Mistake 6: Inconsistent Tense or Perspective
Switching from past to present or “he” to “I” mid-paragraph is jarring and loses marks.
🔧 Fix:
- Pick a tense and point of view. Stick with it.
- Edit each paragraph for consistency.
🚨 Mistake 7: Repetition of Vocabulary
Using the same words like beautiful, nice, amazing, dark, cold repeatedly makes the piece feel lazy.
🔧 Fix:
- Build a vocabulary bank for common themes (weather, emotion, settings).
- Use a thesaurus with judgment — avoid obscure or pretentious words unless they fit naturally.
🚨 Mistake 8: No Clear Mood or Atmosphere
Descriptive writing must evoke a mood — eerie, peaceful, tense, nostalgic, etc.
🔧 Fix: Choose:
- Lighting
- Weather
- Soundscape
- Colour palette
To build an emotional atmosphere.
🎭 Ask: How should the reader feel? How can the setting reflect that feeling?
✅ Quick-Fix Editing Checklist
Before submitting a descriptive piece, ask:
| Question | Check |
| Did I show rather than tell key emotions? | ✅ |
| Did I avoid clichés and overused phrases? | ✅ |
| Have I used at least 3 senses? | ✅ |
| Is my imagery focused and not overdone? | ✅ |
| Have I kept tense and perspective consistent? | ✅ |
| Did I use precise nouns and active verbs? | ✅ |
📝 Practice Task: Fix the Flaws
Before:
The house was very old and scary. It was pitch black and I was very frightened.
Challenge: Rewrite it using:
- Original imagery
- One metaphor or simile
- No clichés
- “Show, not tell”
Model Answer:
The house loomed like a forgotten memory, its broken windows blinking in the moonlight. Inside, shadows clung to the walls, and the air was thick with the scent of damp wood and dust. Every creak beneath my feet whispered a warning.